


Innocence

by brainwavesoptional



Category: Split (2016)
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Inner world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:46:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9884228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainwavesoptional/pseuds/brainwavesoptional
Summary: Barry says the train yard is dangerous. Hedwig feels a pull to go there despite the warning.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inner worlds are very real things. For some systems theirs aren't very deep or don't have access to one, and for others it is a complex world with different sections/areas/levels.

Barry says the train yard is dangerous.

Theres something there. Rumor has it the Horde has a vicious creature wandering about the station, ready to snatch any of them if they so much as come onto the grounds. Everyone heeds this warning because Barry is their leader. You do what he says, you come back inside when he says, you are not to question his judgment.

Hedwig questions everything. Especially why Dennis and Patricia seem to be calling him. It's like a faint pull and Hedwig is left wondering why they've been banned from the Light. After all how many times has Luke, Ian, or B.T. done something Barry and Jade disapprove of? And if Hedwig really thinks about it, the only time they pay attention to him is if he's done something wrong.

Hedwig doesn't have much of a voice when it comes to how the system runs. He steals the light sometimes so he can do things he wants to do but Dr. Fletcher tells him not do that. To listen to Barry and Jade, they know best.

Why do they know better than him? Is it because they're older?

"I'm not stupid." The nine-year-old feels like he's having to say this constantly. They never explicitly call him stupid but they treat him as if he is.

They aren't letting him have a say, not letting him front when he really wants to.

"We have a job Hedwig," reminds Jade in what feels like every day. "We can't just go and play or buy a new CD. If we don't have a job we can't get you nice things."

Hedwig wonders how he can feel so alone with twenty-two others inside this world. He spends a lot of time in Barry's room but he's barely ever there, he's either out or making sure B.T. or Dennis is behaving. He's made himself a fun little corner where he can play with his various figurines, color, and draw. When he's there he doesn't have to watch everyone have fun conversations in the chairs. Conversations he's not a part of, mostly because his lisp "annoys" the others.

He can't help his lisp. He's learned to live with it. No one else talks with a lisp, he doesn't understand it. Dr. Fletcher says sometimes different personalities have different ways of talking and it isn't a bad thing. Barry has offered to sign up for speech therapy but Hedwig feels so much shame when someone tries to correct the way he speaks he'd rather avoid it.

One day when he goes into Barry's room he finds a note on top of his chest of toys. It's in beautiful handwriting, like the person who wrote it has practiced calligraphy.

 _Why don't you join us at the trainyard?_ Theres _something we wish to show you._

 _The handwriting is_ waaay _too nice for a guy_ , Hedwig thinks to himself. _This has to be Ms. Patricia._

What's in the trainyard? He remembers the conversation from a while ago after bringing it up in session with Dr. Fletcher.

_"We don't go there," Barry said. "It's dark and... its dangerous. Does everyone understand me? Don't go there, please."_

_"But Dennis goes there," Kat pointed out, a look of confusion on her face._

_"Yes but he's different. Patricia isn't kind like me. At least, she appears kind, but underneath that is_ mother _. He refuses to listen to me when I say that but I know you all trust me. Right?" He had looked around for their nods and mutters of an agreement, whether they be forthright or delayed. "And Dr. Fletcher says the same. There will be a time when we'll go there, she says, but we aren't ready for it. Jade and I_ _are just trying to protect you."_

Hedwig didn't trust him. Especially not when he'd never even bothered looking at Hedwig the entire time.

He's always been a curious child, even when it gets them in trouble. He's not always been proud of himself for stealing the light especially when someone else has had to clean up his mess afterward but he's so tired of being alone. They live a secluded lifestyle despite Barry being such an extrovert. He says he gets enough interaction at work and going out some days to do karaoke at the bar but Hedwig thinks he's terrified of losing time and them winding up hurt.

Maybe thats why Barry is really mad. Hedwig knows the _real_ reason why things are run the way their run.

Looking at the note Hedwig only thinks for the briefest of moments about Barry or Jade's reaction. Then he remembers they'll probably never even notice he's gone.

Hedwig leaves the room and the huge, mansion-like house they all share and ventures towards the train yard. He's not even sure how he knows which direction to go, all he does know is Patricia chose _him_.

She noticed _him_.

//

Barry wasn't lying about it being scary. As Hedwig makes his way the natural light gets darker and darker, the trees no longer have leafs, and he feels cold. He wraps his jacket tighter around himself, for both comfort and a sense of security.

He soon sees the various trains. All of them look old and out of use, all except one where the black paint still looks fresh and theres steam coming out of it. He's not exactly sure why he feels sad looking at it... he does know though he's never really cared for trains, toys or real.

"You came."

Hedwig's head jerks up to see Patricia, a tall, thin woman with short black hair which frames her face. She smiles down at him and Hedwig smiles back enthusiastically.

"Yeah! I got your note and I was _super_ surprised. I mean, I didn't even know you knew I existed. We never really talk much you're always over here."

"Of course I know you exist dear," Patricia says softly, her English accent somehow calming to Hedwig. She moves forward and pats his wild, frizzy hair down gently with her free hand. Her other clutches her shawl together at her chest. "You really do need to brush your hair better. We need you looking your best right now."

Hedwig's brow furrows in confusion. "I like how I look. This shirt is one of my favorites. See? Its got a dinosaur on it and T-Rex's are super strong, etcetera." He pauses then adds, unable to stop himself from making random observations, "You got a lot of jewelry on."

The many bracelets on her right arm clink as she pulls her hand back. "Jewelry is how one can make themselves presentable. Now come along, we musn't keep him waiting."

"Him?"

"Its time you met him, Hedwig," Patricia insists as she leads the way down the hill to the tracks. "The Beast."

Hedwig immediately feels nervous. His voice is high as he repeats, "T-The Beast? That sounds scary."

"He's only scary to those who are unworthy. You can be very worthy, Hedwig."

Hedwig's eyes widen and he runs to catch up to her so he can ask her directly, "I-I am? You think I'm worthy? Or can be, I mean."

"The Beast can make it so all of those silly mistakes you've made go away." Her voice is suddenly full of judgment and bitter.

"I've always said sorry," Hedwig responds, his mood dropping as he feels shame rise. He looks around when they suddenly stop between two of the old trains. They're rusty and Hedwig is too scared to touch them. He unconsciously brings himself closer to Patricia who makes no attempt to comfort him.

"Sorry doesn't right things," says Patricia. "But if you help us it will make things right. Tell me Hedwig, when was the last time you felt important to someone? Or even felt like your voice mattered?"

The nine-year-old looks at the ground and nervously makes circles in the dirt with his foot. He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to talk about it or admit how ignored he feels, both inside and outside.

"I..." He kicks up dirt and wipes away the tears. "I'm so lonely."

There's a jangle of bracelets once more as she reaches back out to pat him on the head. "Never again will you be alone, Hedwig. The Beast promises me he will make sure we'll have plenty of comfort. And he'll defend us, protect us, and teach those who have never suffered that they are weaker than us."

"Why does he live in such a scary place?"

"Barry has banished him, me, and to an extent Dennis to this place. Barry has a much different viewpoint of the world. A **foolish** one," she practically sneers. "The Beast is so much stronger than all of us combined. And certainly stronger than _Barry_ , ha! Barry doesn't know what is coming and we're going to keep it that way, hm?"

Patricia looks down at him expectantly. Her smile is wide but her eyes are cold.

Hedwig nods, not knowing what else to say or do. Before he can lean into the touch of her hand caressing his cheek she pulls it away denying him any more affection.

"Tell me Hedwig... how do you steal the light from Barry?"

The child shrugs. "I dunno. I just do it. Always been able to and its funny seeing the shocked look on his face when he catches me. I'm good at coloring."

"I bet you are. In any case, we don't need your coloring skills but Dennis, The Beast and I do need your ability to take the light. When the time comes we need your cooperation or else we'll be vulnerable to the world once again. You don't want to be ridiculed and hurt again, right Hedwig? You want Kevin to be safe?"

"Of course!"

"Then promise me you'll be on our side. You'll give us the light and no matter what any of the others say you listen to me and only me. Not even Dennis," Patricia demands, staring him right in the eyes, " _Only_ _me_."

"Yes, Ms. Patricia."

"Good! Ah, I see Dennis up ahead. The Beast should be nearby. Now Hedwig, I'll warn you his appearance can be quite alarming but you needn't run away."

Before Hedwig can say another word the ground begins to shake beneath his feet. He can hear something coming closer and when he looks up he's horrified to see someone - no, _something_ \- jumping from train car to train car from a short distance away. It's doing it with ease, as if it doesn't know the meaning of the word exhaustion.

Finally, a huge, muscled creature of a man stands in front of him. His hair is long and wild, almost looking like a mane around his head, while his hands and feet are twice the length of a normal human.

Hedwig wants to run but remembers what Patricia had said only moments before. He looks over to her, his entire body shaking, and sees she's gotten down on one knee to kneel before the Beast. So Hedwig mimics her and lowers his head, more so to avoid looking him in the eye than a sign of respect. He can hear the Beast's heavy, intense breaths and Hedwig wonders exactly how powerful he is.

 _Powerful enough to protect us_ , Hedwig thinks to himself. _No one will_ ever _make fun of me again if he's around._

"The boy knows?" The Beast speaks, his voice loud and demanding of respect.

"Yes," Patricia says, standing back up and brushing the wrinkles from her skirt. Hedwig quickly follows her and stands up to also look him in the eyes, no matter how difficult that may be. "He's agreed to help us."

"Soon everyone will know our potential," says the Beast with a mighty grin. His teeth are razor sharp. "And those who are unworthy will become my nourishment so they'll finally become useful in this terrible world."

Hedwig spots Dennis only a couple feet behind the Beast. He looks tired and agitated, making Hedwig wonder if he's really committed or has been pressured into this.

The child, for the first time in a long time even with the terrifying look of the Beast, feels safe. This creature won't let _anyone_ hurt, make fun of, take advantage of him - or Kevin - _ever_ again.

Dennis coughs to gain everyone's attention, then turn to Hedwig to say, "You should go back before Barry notices you're gone. I'll walk you to the forest."

"How kind of you," Patricia says sweetly, but the look she gives Dennis speaks of something different.

Dennis walks up to Hedwig and nudges him forward, resting his hand on the nine-year-olds back to guide him. He keeps looking over his shoulder nervously at the two still standing there.

"Why do you keep looking back?" Hedwig asks, attempting to look over his shoulder but Dennis grunts in disapproval and blocks his view by walking in his line of sight behind him. "You're acting weird."

Dennis doesn't respond right away, instead walking in silence nearly halfway up the hill before addressing Hedwig's statement. "I guess I'm just not sure a child is the best way to do this. You're only nine for gods sake. I'd rather take on the job myself."

"I can do it!" Hedwig declares defiantly. "I can take the light from Barry any time I want, etcetera!"

"We're supposed to protect you, not give you a job," Dennis says with a sorrowful tone. "But Patricia has her way of doing things and it ain't our place to question it. You treat her with respect, okay? I know what Barry, Jade and Orwell have said about her and its not true. Even if I... even if... I disagree with her sometimes she has her way of doing things. And that's how we'll do them."

When they reach the beginning of the forest with the dead trees Dennis stops. "This is as far as I go. Remember, don't tell anyone."

Hedwig nods and before he can thank Dennis, the large man has already turned around to go back to the train yard, as if he has to leave before he says something he'll regret.

//

In the end reminding him to keep his silence doesn't matter.

No one has noticed Hedwig's absence.


End file.
